🌺 Dancing With My Flame: A Midlife Reclamation
- arlenemoshe
- 5 days ago
- 4 min read
Acccccccckkhhhh! I've decided to share something. And I have almost hit send 3 or 4 times and then saved to drafts. Because I kept hearing:
"Who does she think she is, posting this stuff?"
"Wow, how vain."
"Isn't she too old for this?"
"Show off!"
So what's up?
Last year, I gave myself a birthday gift that felt at once daring and deeply healing: a photo shoot that invited me to stand or — or lie, draped in vivid red — completely in my sensuality. Some might tell me, “At your age?”
Straight off, let me tell you, I was nervous and sweaty! But, the all female team at this studio knows how to make you feel empowered, relaxed and excited while helping you with every placement of arm, leg and fabric so you become at ease more quickly than I'd ever imagined. And in the beautifully designed waiting area ,I met other women whom shared their nerves for doing the shoot as well but opened up about their own reasons. People were there to overcome body image issues, to celebrate a milestone, or to simply acknowledge their sensuality.
My Why?
This image is not about provocation for others; it’s about liberation for myself. It’s a symbol of reclaiming every wild, tender, contradictory part of me that I spent years thinking that in one way or another, I had to shrink for the comfort of the world around me and even for myself! And when those voices in my head popped up about what others might think, I remembered something. This is not for the scroll or the likes or I'd have shred them the next day! It's a mirror for me. A moment that says:
I see you. I hold you. I honour you.
Over the past few years, I’ve been peeling back the layers of who I thought I “should” be: the good partner, the devoted mother, the steady professional, the safe choice. I do love being a mother, a wife, a guide — these are roles I cherish with my whole heart. But sometimes, that can evoke feelings of needing to stay in that lane — to keep doing what we’re really good at, what brings safety and comfort and definitely doesn’t rock the boat. And, in the quiet, it’s easy to lose sight of the parts of ourselves that crave freedom, mystery, and growth.
Underneath all those layers, I found a truth I could no longer deny: that self-love, the very same that I know overlaps with embracing my intuitive self, means welcoming the fire within me too. It means facing the places where I still hold myself back — my fears of being “too much,” too sensual, too alive — and giving them room to breathe.
Am I a complete project? Of course not. I’m a human being which I may have forgotten to add to the list above of roles that I cherish. 😘
When you start stepping more boldly into your truth — your autonomy, your aliveness — it can stir discomfort in others, whether family, friends, clients or community. I’ve learned that growing into yourself doesn’t mean pushing people away, but it does mean learning how to hold your shape. It means you can listen, you can love deeply, but you don’t have to abandon yourself to do it.
Some scenarios and people are here for a season, some for a lifetime. That truth can sting, but it can also be freeing. I’ve learned to ask: What parts of me must stay alive no matter what changes around me?
To love myself means to hold my flame — my desire for freedom, play, curiosity, and depth — and not keep it hidden for fear of misunderstanding or judgment. I believe now that I am not meant to be a safe choice for people who fear my fire. I am meant to be chosen by those who can dance with my flame.
Owning this does not mean the path ahead is always easy. Growth is not linear. Compromise is key and not the same as erasure. I can hold my own values and honor the values of others. I can stand strong and bend with care. I can forgive myself for the times I tucked my truth away.
So, if you find yourself standing at the edge of your own flame, whatever that looks like for you,— afraid it might burn too brightly for the world — I hope this image reminds you: your fire is not wrong. It is your life force. Tend it. Share it with those who can honour it. And know you are not alone in the dance.
I have attached a worksheet for you to have an honest, heartfelt conversation about what that dance looks like for you. You may answer some or all of the questions, perhaps just allowing yourself to be fully heard. That's it!
Love, Arlene
PS If you’re craving a space to rekindle your flame, my women’s retreat in Greece this September is for you — an invitation to reconnect with your truth in the company of kindred spirits. The door is open for you. Follow this link!
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